Your values are the infrastructure of your life

Your Values: The Invisible Infrastructure of Your Life

What holds your life together when things feel overwhelming or uncertain? What guides you when you’re faced with a difficult choice? The answer, whether you realize it or not, is your values.

Your values are the invisible infrastructure of your life.

They shape your decisions, influence your relationships, and guide your sense of purpose. Just like the foundation of a house, they may not be visible on the surface, but they provide the structure and stability that everything else depends on.

What Are Values, and Why Do They Matter?

Values are the core principles that define what’s most important to you. They’re not about what society expects or what other people think you should prioritize—they’re about what truly matters to you.

For example, maybe you value connection, creativity, or independence. Maybe you prioritize adventure, kindness, or personal growth. Whatever your values are, they act as your internal compass, helping you navigate life’s twists and turns.

When your life aligns with your values, you feel more energized, fulfilled, and at peace. When your actions are out of alignment with your values, you might feel drained, resentful, or stuck.

A real life example

Let’s say one of your core values is family, and another is professional achievement. These values may sometimes pull you in different directions, as they did for me years ago.

I remember a moment when I was faced with a tough decision: attend an important office event or go to my daughter’s winter concert. I agonized over it. I wanted to show my commitment to my new job, but I also wanted to be there for my daughter.

A friend gave me some advice that meant a lot and really helped: “On your deathbed, you won’t be wishing you had spent more time at the office.”

That hit me hard. In that moment, I realized that attending my daughter’s concert was the choice that aligned most closely with my values. And because I made that decision based on what was truly important to me, I felt at peace—even though it wasn’t easy to let go of the guilt about missing the office event.

This experience reminded me that when we honor our values, we create a life that feels meaningful and authentic.

How to Identify Your Core Values

If you’re not sure what your core values are, here are some explore and identify them:

1. Reflect on Peak Moments

Think about times in your life when you felt deeply joyful, proud, or fulfilled. What was happening? What values were being honored in those moments?

2. Identify What Drains You

Consider situations that frustrate or exhaust you. Often, these moments arise when you’re living out of alignment with your values.

3. Make a List

Write down a list of qualities you value (e.g., honesty, adventure, compassion, learning). Then, narrow it down to your top five.

4. Check for Alignment

Look at how you currently spend your time. Are your actions reflecting what’s most important to you?

Living in Alignment with Your Values

Once you’ve identified your core values, you can start making more intentional choices about how you spend your time and energy.

Here are some questions to ask yourself:

• Does this decision reflect what’s truly important to me?
• Will this bring me closer to the life I want to create?
• Am I saying “yes” out of obligation or alignment?

Building a Life You Love

At this stage of life, you’ve earned the right to live on your own terms. You don’t have to follow anyone else’s map. You get to decide what stays and what goes.

If something in your life isn’t serving you—a job, a relationship, a commitment—you have the power to let it go. And if something lights you up inside, even if it seems small or “unimportant,” you have the right to make space for it.

Your values are your blueprint for building a life that feels joyful, meaningful, and uniquely yours.

A Call to Action

And if you’re ready to dive deeper, I’d love to support you. Through my Art of Act 3 Life Coaching program, I guide women over 55 to reconnect with their values, rediscover their joy, and step confidently into this next chapter of life. Let’s explore what’s possible together!