What you value most deserves your attention

Have you ever felt like life is pulling you in a hundred different directions?

You want to be productive, make meaningful choices, and feel fulfilled, but instead, you find yourself drained, distracted, and unsure of where to focus.

Can you imagine how you would feel if you were focused and fulfilled?

What would that look like for you?

How Identifying Your Values Helps Decrease that Feeling of Being Scattered and Pulled

When you are clear on your values, your decisions flow from that place.

Most people just know the biggies : be good to people, don't steal. Right, those are important values.

But there is more… There is the value you place on family and what that means. If someone in your family asks you to do something at a moment's notice, do you drop everything to do it? What if you had plans with a friend… do you tell your friend you can't make it?

There are no right or wrong answers to these questions. There is only a right answer for YOU.

But getting to those answers may take some time and thought.

Do you drop everything at a moment's notice to do whatever a family member asks for? No matter what it is? No matter what you were already doing? No matter time of day or night?

What are the values that would drive that decision? Well, how much do you value being available, being seen as reliable and dependable? How much do you value good manners?

So if a call comes at any time of day or night and your highest value is being available or dependable, you will jump up to meet your family member's need.

But if you have hold the value that things should be done in a courteous way and your family member should not be calling you in the middle of the night (barring true medical emergency), you will act differently. You will say "I will discuss this with you in the morning, I am going back to sleep."

Same situation, different reaction based on two different values. Both are right and correct, but you have to decide what is right for you.

For example, I was once in a relatively new job and there was an office cocktail party the same night as my daughter's winter concert. I agonized over where I should go. I put a high priority on showing up well at work, particularly a new job. But I also put a high priority on my daughter's winter concert. I was in a pickle.

But then a friend told me of the expression "on my deathbed, I won't be wishing I had spent more time at the office." I had actually never heard it before, but it surely hit home. My priority was going to my daughter's concert. So that is what I did.

This did not diminish my commitment to my work. It clarified that I had a lot to balance and I needed guiding principles when making decisions. I had to figure out what was more important to me.

We are faced with those questions multiple times every day. Should I do the extra errand that will make my life easier later but make me late for coffee with a friend?

What are the values underlying that decision? One is the value on MY TIME, making my life easier. The other is the value of promptness and being reliable.

We all have things competing for our time, attention and energy. When you are spending too much time on things that don’t align with your values, you will feel stressed, unmotivated, or resentful.

When you become more aware of what you value, that feeling of being scattered and pulled in many directions will decrease. You will not only know what you are doing, but why you are doing it.

Your values are your internal compass. They determine how you decide to do one thing over another.

Once you know your values, you can start making more intentional choices about where to focus your time and energy.

Ask yourself...

Does how I am spending my time reflect what is important to me?

I know a woman who was very invested in "giving back" to her community. But she didn't enjoy any of the activities she felt were available to her. So she donated money to charities that matter to her. That was her way of living up to her value of "giving back". She didn't have to work at the soup kitchen or volunteer at the animal shelter. She was clear both on her value and how she wanted to live up to it.

Will this bring me closer to the life I want to create?

There is a natural alignment between your values, what brings you meaning and joy, and creating a life you love.

Am I saying “yes” to things out of obligation rather than alignment?

When we say yes out of obligation, it doesn't feel right. We often regret saying yes, feel a bit resentful, or even don't do a great job at whatever it was we said yes to. Instead, when we say yes out of alignment, we feel a sense of joy, meaning, or satisfaction.

When you start living in alignment with your values, you’ll feel more energized, more at peace, and more in control of your time.

Need Help Clarifying Your Values?

If you’re ready to dive deeper and gain clarity on your core values and how this leads to a more joyful Act3, I can help. Through my Art of Act3 Life Coaching program, I guide women to reconnect with what truly matters, so they can step into this next phase of life with intention, confidence, and joy.

Check out my website at www.Act3lifecoaching.com.