Stop Asking Directions!

This Life Is Yours: Stop Asking for Directions to Places They’ve Never Been

“This life is mine alone. So I have to stop asking people for directions to places they’ve never been.”

That's a tall order, isn't it? Have you spent your life looking at others to see what you should do next?

By the time we reach 60 and beyond, many of us have followed paths that were created by other people.

Those paths were usually shaped by family expectations, societal rules, and other people’s well-meaning advice. And, if we followed the paths set for us, they were supposed to lead to happiness, security, and success.

And maybe they did.

But maybe they left us wondering, Is this what life is supposed to be like? Have I missed out?

If you’ve been feeling that nudge—the seeking and yearning that says you’re ready for more joy, more meaning, more you—then maybe it’s time to stop looking to others for directions.

No one else has ever been where you’re going next. This is your journey, your Act3, and you get to decide how it unfolds.

Trust Your Own Compass

I know a woman, Jayne, who did all that was expected of her during her life. She was a good daughter, sister, wife and mother. Her life looked very great… from the outside.

On the inside, Jayne knew she had a good life, but she kept wondering if there were other things she could do. She had a cousin who said that after she retired, she decided her full time job was going to be "Grandma." She was going to dedicate her life to school pickups and going to class plays and supporting her daughters in their mothering. And the cousin was really happy. But the "Full time Grandma" model didn't appeal to Jayne.

Jayne's friend group has a monthly book club. It is enjoyable, but is it enough?

Jayne needed some time and she needed guidance, but not from people who had already charted their paths. And those are the key words… charted THEIR paths. She needed to listen to herself to determine what her own path would be. Jayne really benefited from coaching to help her hear her own inner voice.

Jayne, like you, and like me, has lived through decades of experiences, learned lessons, and developed deep wisdom. Jayne knew what would bring her joy and add meaning to her life, but it was buried under the years and years of her looking to others for guidance.

You will never guess what Jayne decided to explore as she started listening to her inner self…

Was it belly dancing? Volunteering time at the children's hospital? Starting her own children's bookstore?

OK… I'll tell you. She started a bookstore AND took belly dancing! She has the volunteer opportunity in the back of her mind but she needed to realize how much time she really has in a day.

Isn't that something? Brave! I don't know which is more brave, belly dancing or opening a bookstore. But the truth is, I don't need to know which is more brave, only Jayne needs to know. It is her compass that needs to guide her.

So, how do you begin trusting your own compass?

Start by asking yourself some questions:

• What lights me up?
• What am I curious about?
• What kind of life do I want to create in this next chapter?

Write down your answers. Let them guide you, even if the path they reveal looks different from anything you’ve done before.

And if you think I can be of help, contact me at Melinda@act3lifecoaching.com for a free consultation.